Courage to Be Yourself

Oh my goodness can growing up and into yourself (whoever that is) be quite the experience. 

When I was in first grade we had a career day at school. We were supposed to come dressed up as what we wanted to be when we grew up. 

I brought with me an infant car-seat and a baby doll. 

I wanted to be a mom. 

By the time I was in my late teens I was coming up with names for the twelve children I was going to have. I was going to have eleven girls and one boy. And my best friend at the time was going to have eleven boys and one girl. And many of them were going to marry each other of course. 

Now I am entering the years just before "mid-life" hits and what I thought I was going to grow up to be not only hasn't materialized, but my desires have changed. . .

They have changed as I have learned more and more about what God's desires and plans are for me and how He has specifically wired and gifted me and is calling me to, drawing me toward. 

I've learned a lot about my self these past few years. From all of the confusion I have come out of, finding out who *I* really am and being courageous enough to explore and embrace it has been (and continues to be) a journey in itself. 

I have learned what I really like and what I really don't like. 

Some of us don't really know, do you? 

I have learned what my natural talents are, and all about my ideals for living, and a lot about my personality. 

At first I was skiddish about throwing my heart into discovering who I was, mostly because I thought it was a selfish endevour. 

But the opposite has proven true. . . 

And I have learned to experience and embrace the empowering truth behind this Gem with no regrets: 

Yeah, there are things about me that I struggle accepting. But God made me on purpose for a purpose and the more I allow myself to become who He intends for me to be the better it just is -- internally, externally -- it's just better. 

Though sometimes who I am or am becoming is definitely met with resistance. . .

That's where courage steps in. 

I'm 30 years old now. I have yet to marry. I am not a mother. I definitely don't have twelve children. 

My heart yearns for different things now than the things I planned for it to yearn for. 

And as far as I can judge, it's just going to become more and more worth it to embrace how God has made me and to embrace the desires He puts in my heart, and to not be afraid. 

I've often been called weird, or different -- my favorite was when someone called me eccentrically awesome. Ha ha. 

I've been called things that have hurt. 

But  I've also been complimented many times over for the way I am and for some of the things I do. 

Everyone is going to have an opinion about me. 

But whose opinion ultimately and truly matters? 

God's. My Creator's.Your Creator's. 

And since He looks at me (and you!) through eyes of beaming and great love, what have I to fear or to lose?

But maybe certain people's opinions. 

But if me and God are good and I am good with how God has made me -- those opinions can just fall to the ground and stay there.  

Be and embrace you! And the God who created you 

on purpose just the way you are for a purpose.

A purpose only you can fulfill.

And don't be shy about taking it on with boldness.

When we don't, what do we miss out on? 

And what may God end up "not be able to accomplish" 

because of our lack of exploration, 

acceptance and courage 

in this vital soul aligning process 

of our hearts to His?