Pursued By Love

The wounds of my heart were many -
Nursed by lies I'd come to believe
And fortified by self-protection and fear.

When promising indulgences would come,
Offering me temporary relief,
I'd let them in -
Only to draw me away
Reinforcing the wall
Around my heart
And the ache would only increase.

I wanted to be loved
I wanted to be me
But I'd be too much
Or not enough
Or so, I believed.
And so, I lived hidden in retreat.

Then God began calling -
His voice above my fears
He wanted to heal me,
To bind up my wounds.

I didn't let Him near at first,
I didn't know Him enough.
But He was persistent,
And gentle,
And respectful of me,
And so, one day, I let Him in -
But only to peak.

I was surprised at Him.
He wasn't condemning
Or repulsed in the least.
And when I grew uncomfortable
He kindly withdrew.

He came calling again, and again.
Each time I'd let Him in
To step a bit further,
To see a bit more -
I began trusting Him.

Then one day, He asked for permission
To touch my wounds.
I got scared and
Up went my walls.
But on His way out,
He lightly brushed up against
One of them,
And I noticed that area healed.

Healed? Could my heart be made well?
Oh, I wanted it to be -
I wanted it to be so badly!
And so, when He came again,
I said, "Yes! You can touch my wounds."
I closed my eyes, and braced myself -
Expecting a thunderstorm of pain,
But He simply made one cut
And left, saying, "That is enough for one day."

He continues to come now, quite frequently,
With His loving hands
To bind up my wounds,
One by one,
As I can handle it,
Dissolving them for all eternity -
Such are His ways with me.

What a wonderful thing it is to be pursued -
To be pursued by love.

© Emily J. Bray 2010.